Edition five: Story telling in purpose
William Damon defines purpose as "A stable and generalised intention to accomplish something that is, at the same time, meaningful to the self and consequential for the world beyond the self."
Simply put, Purpose = meaning + contribution. Surfacing the significant insights that have (and continue to) shape how you find meaning in your life is done through the process of gathering and sharing your stories.
Your purpose has always been there. It is there. It has been developed over time, through experiences and interactions. It has been strengthened and tested with every triumph and every hardship. You will have felt it.
Cast your mind back to childhood. Did you ever play hot and cold? You hide something special and watch as the other players look for it, you guide them with ‘cold’, ‘freezing’, ‘warmer’, ‘BOILING’, until finally, you all glory in the satisfaction of finding the hidden object. You could say that your purpose is that special item, and as you have acted in alignment to it (even unconsciously) you have felt warmer, more satisfied. Conversely, the further away you strayed from its path, you will have felt disconnected, lost, colder. This alternative route could have been in service of others, protecting yourself, acting from fear, avoiding shame. No wonder we can be confused when we are always trying to do ‘the right thing.’ Imagine now how precise your direction would be if you uncovered your purpose, in order to use that as your guiding force.
This uncovering, and understanding, is done through storytelling. Brené Brown says that stories are data with a soul. Tell the experiences, the interactions, triumphs, and hardships, pay attention to the emotions they evoke and through them you find wisdom. Neuroscientist Antonio Damasio states that storytelling is the solution to making wisdom understandable, transmissible, persuasive, and memorable.
To cope with major life events, individuals construct narratives using three interrelated themes, the first of which is: search for understanding– making sense of an event, even if it means choosing narrative over empirical fact. The next is to create a sense of mastery – creating a feeling of control over an event by integrating past and future experiences. Finally, we construct narratives for self-enhancement – using personal narratives to bolster self-esteem (e.g., comparing oneself to others in similar situations). Each of these explanations is meaning-making in one form or another.
“It is said that people can go forty days without food, three days without water, and about thirty-five seconds without finding meaning in something… we are always on the hunt for meaning.”
The excitable soul understands and utilises storytelling as a rich source of data. Your purpose is deeply personal because it has been forged in the significance you have placed on subjective experiences. In Dan P. McAdams' book The Stories We Live By, he explains:
"Stories are less about facts and more about meanings. In the subjective and embellished telling of the past, the past is constructed, history is made."
Neuroscientists, sociologists, and researchers alike have been fascinated with how we construct meaning and storytelling’s role in identity. By understanding how and when we learn to construct stories, going beyond the fundamental acceptance that stories act as warnings. From our early exposure to cavemen painted around a campfire, fingers deftly drawn across a stone wall depicting hunting packs and predators, to the hardwired truth that storytelling is the making of the self. We begin to create a structure in which to unpick those stories. A cliffs notes, if you will, to the themes and patterns that have defined our personal narratives.
“Story, as it turns out, was crucial to our evolution—more so than opposable thumbs. Opposable thumbs let us hang on; story told us what to hang on to.”
Simulation theory explains that when reading or hearing about an action or emotion, we activate the same brain circuits as if we were experiencing it firsthand. Studies using MRI scans show that when people read about physical sensations or emotions, the same regions of their brain activate as if they were experiencing those sensations directly. This happens through various brain regions such as the sensory cortex, temporal lobes, limbic system, and by using mirror neurons. Mirror neurons help us to make sense of the world and learn how to do things by watching and listening as though imitating.
As we create a narrative around an event—assigning it meaning—we activate the same neural circuits involved in the original experience, effectively mirroring those emotions within ourselves. This process helps shape not only how we remember the event but also how we emotionally experience it in the present and future. Therefore, paying attention to the emotions we associate with our personal narratives helps to uncover the significance we have placed on each event. We relive the pinnacle lessons we have taught ourselves. We share, and in doing so, uncover the foundations of where we have found meaning and strived to contribute to the world—and why.
When we apply this to mining our stories for data, we remember that it is not what happened to us but the significance we have assigned to what has happened that is indicative of meaning, and therein lies our purpose as meaning + contribution = purpose.
Dan P. McAdams explains:
"... our story is there all along inside the mind. It is a psychological structure that evolves slowly over time, infusing life with unity and purpose… it delineates an identity, illuminating the values of an individual’s life. It is not a legend or fairy tale but a sacred story that embodies personal truth."
The Excitable Soul purpose work helps you to unpick that personal truth, unleash its potential, and live in alignment with your purpose. Storytelling is the bridge that connects the dots of our experiences, allowing us to understand how we have shaped our past, with purpose as our guide it can help navigate our present, and illuminate our future. Your story is waiting to be understood, told, and lived fully. The excitable soul is here to empower you.