Episode #23: Jinty Morgan
Redefining Identity: Embracing Change and Finding Purpose Beyond the Uniform
Today, we have an exceptional guest with us – Jinty Morgan. Jinty served in the British Army for an impressive 25 years and now dedicates her time to working with a charity that supports service leavers.
Her story is one of resilience, immense strength, and the profound impact of honest, loving relationships.
In our conversation, Jinty takes us on an incredible journey, exploring how her husband's truth-filled advice has profoundly shaped her sense of identity and self-worth. She opens up about a particularly candid moment when her husband, with the utmost love and support, encouraged her to lose weight to fit into a wedding dress.
Jinty also shares some vivid stories from her early days, inspired by her love for sports and travel, which ultimately led her to join the military. From rigorous basic training to thriving in her various postings, and the beautiful story of meeting her husband through a military badminton competition, her journey is both inspiring and deeply personal.
We'll reflect on how significant moments and relationships, both in uniform and beyond, have contributed to her growth and sense of belonging. And, as she transitioned to civilian life in 2016, Jinty faced new challenges in redefining her identity, finding solace and purpose in welfare work, supported every step of the way by her husband.
So, sit back, relax, and join us as together we explore the intricacies of identity, connection, and purpose.
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Read the transcript here
James Glover [00:00:09]:
Alrighty. Welcome to the excitable soul podcast. Here, we are interested in all things purpose. We want to know where and how people find meaning and connection in their lives. In every episode, we're gonna be hearing the real life stories of how people have uncovered, understood, and unleashed their own unique sense of purpose. Our hope is that we can all learn from the stories and the journeys of our guests so that we can better find the sense of purpose in our own lives. I'm host James Glover, performance coach and purpose nerd. I'm incredibly excited to be exploring these stories with you.
James Glover [00:00:44]:
So let's get going, shall we? Hello, everybody, and welcome. Today's guest is Ginty Morgan. Ginty served 25 years in the British Army in the World Corp of Signals. During her service, she was, deployed to Kosovo, Iraq, and New Zealand. She's a keen sportswoman representing the army in athletics and badminton. Jinty is the director of Hire A Hero, a charity that supports service leavers through their transition into civilian life. She joined the charity as operations director in 2016, bringing a huge amount of knowledge and experience of the welfare support that our service women and men might need during their transition from service. Ginty lives in South Wales with her husband, Lloyd, who is a serving officer, and they have Maisie the pug and Sooty the cat.
James Glover [00:01:37]:
Gentry brings a deeply unassuming perspective to the big questions of our podcast, not really noticing her own magic in the way I know you all will. Plus, she tells a story of her husband and her wedding dress that will make you wish you had been deployed overseas, so beware of that 1. We'll be posting a link to hire a hero in the show notes. Enjoy the conversation. Alright. So welcome to the Excitable Soul podcast. Today, I've got with me Jinty Morgan. Jinty, thank you massively for for coming to be a part of the the podcast.
James Glover [00:02:12]:
Wonderful to to have you with us. How are you doing today?
Jinty Morgan [00:02:15]:
I'm good today. Apart from the weather, I would say, I'd like to get some sun.
James Glover [00:02:22]:
The they say that spring is trying to spring, but it hasn't yet sprung. There's there's no kind of visible evidence of it just yet.
Jinty Morgan [00:02:30]:
Definitely not on wheels.
James Glover [00:02:34]:
And and how's the world for you at the moment? What what's happening?
Jinty Morgan [00:02:39]:
Going through a little bit of a change. I think I'm in the routine, shall we say, at the moment. My husband's literally deployed, with the military. He deployed on the 25th January. So I'm on a 14 week countdown till his arna 20 vision. Wow.
James Glover [00:02:58]:
We were just talking before before the podcast about kinda just how that turns your reality upside down for for a while, doesn't it? Like, the there are shifts and changes to routines, and then there are things that kinda create massive disruption that you have to figure out. And and how, how because this isn't this isn't your first, first rodeo as far as that's concerned. How are you how are you finding it all?
Jinty Morgan [00:03:26]:
This 1 is not the first, because we've, my husband's now been in the military 30 plus years, and I served 25. But this is the first 1 I have done where I have been a veteran. So it is slightly different, in that respect, but I'm getting there. Good days and bad days.
James Glover [00:03:51]:
Yeah. Nice. Maybe maybe we can, explore a little bit of that as we kinda go through our through our conversation. But, we were again, connected, you and I, by a mutual acquaintance, the, the force of nature that is Annalee Howling. And, and she she basically just said, James, if you really wanna talk about purpose and purposeful experiences and where people find meaning and connection, you need to go and speak to Jinty, because she's got some some stories. And and you and I had the opportunity to to kind of pick up the phone and meet and have have a conversation or 2. And it really struck me that you've been on an incredible journey, through through your life in the military and the kind of the transition out of it and, you know, how you kind of look forward and into the future and the way in which you've made sense of what meaning and connection really looks and feels like for you. So, I'd love to I'd love to explore a bit of that journey, if that's okay.
James Glover [00:04:49]:
And and maybe just start with, some of the kind of the the the experiences that have really shaped who you are in the world today?
Jinty Morgan [00:04:58]:
I think if I sort of look back at my 40 odd years of life, obviously, I think everybody looks back at their childhood and sort of looks and realizes that, when you get to a certain age, mom and dad are your big influences, and they shape who you are, etcetera, brothers and sisters and family. But the big turning point, I think, for me was when I was in secondary school. And I was asked by a PE teacher why I wanted to be a PE teacher. That was my career path choice. And we had a discussion and, it was him that actually convinced me to join the military. Rather than rather than, going down the teaching role. Because it was more I wanted to carry on doing my sport. I was a bit of a sportbilly.
Jinty Morgan [00:06:00]:
That was, I take that part of my life from my dad. And that is why I joined the military back in, 1991.
James Glover [00:06:13]:
So just give us a bit of a a flavor of that that conversation because that that's a deeply powerful conversation. Right? You've got got clarity. I'm gonna be a PE teacher because I love sport, and so that feels like the natural kind of direction and vocation. And then this person in your life has a conversation, intervenes, and your path shifts and changes. So what what was that conversation like? What did he say that made you go, oh, 0, alright. Okay. Maybe I maybe I need to go do that thing over there.
Jinty Morgan [00:06:43]:
It was quite simply, he said, why do you want to teach? He knew straight away why I wanted to go into PE because of the love of sport etcetera. But he asked me the question why I wanted to teach, and I didn't have an answer. And, he basically said, I don't think you want to be a teacher. You want to carry on playing your sport etcetera. And we should look in other areas of where you can, do that. So the military, came up very quickly in the conversation. He said that not only could I carry on playing sport because it is a massive, massive part of military life. I could do it all over the world.
Jinty Morgan [00:07:37]:
So he basically sold the military to me in that respect. And I realized quite quickly, actually, I don't want to I don't want to teach. I want to carry on playing my sport. And if I can do that, get paid, see the world, the military was the perfect option.
James Glover [00:07:58]:
Amazing. And, and and I'm I'm I wanna dive into kind of what what the transition into the military really felt like and and kind of experiences in that, but there's just something really, landing strongly with me, which is he asked you the question of why do you want to teach? And, you know, the the whole principle of of purpose is about that question, why? Why do anything? And often, the focus is always, what is it I'm going to do and not why am I doing it? And it was, you know, him being able to see, actually, your why is different here. Your why isn't about teaching and learning and educating. It's actually about something different. It's about connection to a different type of passion. It's commitment to something that feels important to you and meaningful to you, completely separate to the craft of teaching. So how can I get you to see that? How can I get you to think of that? I'm ask I'm gonna ask you why. And I love the fact that that then made you really consider, actually, well well, why why am I choosing this? And, is there a different way? And what might that different way be? So did it did it work out as you'd hoped by by shifting and changing and moving into military?
Jinty Morgan [00:09:15]:
Definitely. I would not change a thing of my 25 year service. The experiences, the places in the world, I have been what I've seen, it was it was my path. I was meant to join the military, and I met my husband in the military. Most, my best friend was in the military. So, my support network has come from the military. So, yeah, I owe a lot to it, and I owe a lot to that, PA teacher.
James Glover [00:09:54]:
And have you ever had the opportunity to kind of go back and and see them and speak to them and kind of talk to them about where that journey went to and ended up? Or has it just been 1 of those, like, serendipitous moments that that you you haven't been able to revisit?
Jinty Morgan [00:10:09]:
No. I haven't been able to sort of revisit, my PE teacher. Unfortunately, he's passed away. So, maybe he's looking down and, seeing that that small conversation of 10 minutes, had shaped our our pupil of hers.
James Glover [00:10:26]:
Yeah. I I think there's just real magic in that, isn't there, in terms of the the positive impact that can be had by the right conversation at the at the right time? But but let's dive let's dive into that kind of experience in the military. You know, you talked about some of the most significant relationships in your life and in your world were were found and forged in that environment. The experiences that you kind of really value and hold dear were were in that that environment. What what were some of those kind of really standout experiences and moments that, you know, shaped you over the course of 20 plus years? Because that's a long period of time in in your life. Are there are there moments that stand out above above all else?
Jinty Morgan [00:11:08]:
There are there are a few, etcetera. I joined in October 91. I was, when I got on the train from Dumfries to head down to Guildford to start my basic training, I was 17 and 1 day. And you do 12 weeks basic training down in Guildford, and then you I had to then move after passing out from basic training up to Catrick. And that's where you do your tree training for the royal signals. That was the cataract joint. And by the July of 92, thinking back to the conversation with the PE teacher that you'd see the world, my first posting was in Germany. So, off I got on a plane, flew to to Germany, and spent basically the next 6 years moving around Germany in different post ends, learning, got promoted, etcetera.
Jinty Morgan [00:12:15]:
And, the big element would be, 1998, where I met my husband. And I actually met my husband through sport playing badminton. Playing badminton. He was in a he was in a different car batch. So he was in the Royal Electrical Mechanical Engineers and I was in the Royal Signals. And there's a competition that's yearly, which is called the Intercore badminton competition. And we had to play against each other. And that's when, I met, my husband.
James Glover [00:12:54]:
Oh, wait. Who won who won the game?
Jinty Morgan [00:12:56]:
I won the game.
James Glover [00:12:58]:
I always
Jinty Morgan [00:12:58]:
I I always win.
James Glover [00:13:04]:
I love it. I love it. That that's the, that's the makings of a relationship. You absolutely destroyed him on the, on the badminton fields, and, that was it. It was 1 heart was won forever. Amazing. And so, just let us kinda stay with this this experience of being, you know, 18, 19, and and going over and and, and moving and living in a completely different country, a country that was in transition as well. Right? So we're talking early nineties, but when the kind of wall wall came down, like, 89, 90.
James Glover [00:13:41]:
And so there was a huge amount of of kind of transition and change from a military perspective, but also just kind of a societal perspective over there. How much were you consciously aware of the the kind of the the the impact of the work that you were doing in that country at that point in time?
Jinty Morgan [00:13:58]:
I wouldn't say there was a massive impact, due to where I was actually posted within Germany. I was posted probably 4 and a half, 5 hours drive from Berlin. Being a younger or a lower rank, I was still in the realms of you are told where to be, at what time, and what dress. So I literally was just following exactly what my seniors told me to do, where to be, and what to be doing, etcetera. But it was a great experience at that age to be sort of grown up.
James Glover [00:14:40]:
Yeah. Yeah. What did that look like? What what you know, you you used that language, which is really expressive, kind of grown up. Like, what was what's the grown up the growing up experience like in that kind of environment?
Jinty Morgan [00:14:53]:
Oh, it's, I think, personally, it's very easy because of, your fellow, comrades. They were going through the same experience as you were. Your instructors, they are trained to a high standard that they can help and assist you go through those changes, you know, from teaching you how to iron properly, wash your, wash your clothes correctly, etcetera. Make a bed so that it's perfect, etcetera. And it's it's all done very, very well.
James Glover [00:15:29]:
Yeah. And so I I really love this idea of it was easy because the people around me were going through it in the same way at the same time. What what what was the kind of how were relationships kind of really forged and formed? You said you kind of met your best friend in the military too. What what are the experiences that really kind of bond people together? Like, how does that work?
Jinty Morgan [00:15:55]:
I think if I go back to basic training, you sort of travel on your own from home on the day that, you've got to start. You don't know anybody, I would say, unless 2 friends have joined up on the same day and they've got the same start day, etcetera. But you're there on your own, and you look around, and it's like looking in a mirror because everybody's face is exactly the same as yours. You you can tell straight away. And you're going through an experience of the unknown. So relationships are built very, very quickly. You're shoved into a room with 3 strangers. You're given a bed, a wardrobe, chest of doors.
Jinty Morgan [00:16:38]:
You have to unpack, and you have to learn at the same time. And you quickly realize working as a team as a way to get through this. So straightaway, you want to be part of your room team. And you realize very quickly within that room that there is somebody that is very good at ironing. And you might not be so good at ironing. But you're very good at shining or as we call it in the military, bullying your your boots. So as a team, because you present an an inspection as such, not just as an individual but as a room. So to make sure that you pass that inspection, the person that's good at ironing would iron everybody's clothes.
Jinty Morgan [00:17:29]:
The person that was bulling that's good at bulling shoes and boots would would do that and you would help. So relationships happen and bonds happen very, very quickly. Some people are very good at first aid, for example, but somebody else might not be so good at another subject that you're you're learning. Encouragement comes out of it. Some you're at different levels when you join in basic training or fitness. So you would encourage somebody that's not as fast as you to to run a little bit faster, to stay up with you, etcetera. So in that respect, in basic training, the relationships do develop really fast, etc. And you go through that experience every time With me being in the Royal Signals, I get posted individually.
Jinty Morgan [00:18:27]:
So every 2 to 3 years, I'd be posted to a new unit. So I would be traveling on my own to a new unit. As time, went on within my career, the chances of you knowing somebody in that unit grew, because you'd maybe come across some 2 persons before, etcetera. So you're always that new person when you sort of come to the unit and you're, you put a better guard up to see who's who and all the rest of it, etcetera. But, I met my best friend through my husband. She was actually, posted at my husband's unit, back in late 98, and that's when we connected.
James Glover [00:19:15]:
And how does how does, like, a relationship like that form and blossom and sustain over time when you're in the military and you moved in the way that you describe? Effort. Yeah. Brilliant. Just just talk us through that a little
Jinty Morgan [00:19:29]:
bit. You've got to just put a little bit more effort into your friendships. So pick up that phone, have a conversation, etcetera. Just keep in touch because there are so many people that you come across that very close in the environment you're in, in that posting, for example. And then 1 of them is posted away, and you simply lose touch. However, there is a special connection with people you meet in the military that you might not have spoken to them for years, not seen them for years. That as soon as you make eye contact with that individual again, it's like rewind in the clock as if that time had never actually happened. You just pick up from where you left off.
Jinty Morgan [00:20:24]:
I don't know why or how it happens. It it just does.
James Glover [00:20:29]:
And, I I love this this this kind of insight around effort. Because if you think about if you think about the experiences that most of us are having in a kind of a civilian context. It's, you know, immediate gratification. It's instant interaction. And so the concept of effort, where we place effort, where we focus energy, I think can be the difference between forming and sustaining really high value relationships or making progress against the things that really matter in our lives versus living in a kind of highly reactive, slightly dysfunctional, superficial kind of a way. What, given that and I'm making a couple of assumptions here as I ask this question, so feel free to just kinda slap me around and, surface some of those. But, I'm making the assumption that because because everybody is in and serving within the service, there is kind of there is a foundational bond that exists. So as you say, I've traveled around every 3 years, traveled on my own.
James Glover [00:21:38]:
You kind of you start you go into an environment, and, you kinda guards up a little bit, but quite quickly you figure out what's going on and then poof, you're you're you're into it. And if you've been posted with somebody and you've kind of, formed a relationship with them, and then they move on in 1 direction, you move on in the other, and you don't see them again for another 10 years. But when you do, you're kinda straight back into that that kind of that that same place. In order to be able to to kind of transcend that experience and create a relationship that feels like it stands out over and above, you know, that kind of that that that service based bond. What what has to happen there? Like, what what is it that kind of made made made it look and feel different for you? Because it sounds like this person has helped shape kind of who you are today.
Jinty Morgan [00:22:29]:
I think it's just true friendship and the fact that 1, you've got more than a common denominator of both wearing a uniform. Unconditionally, whether it's good times or bad times. And when, if you sort of rewind to 98, late 98, the instant messaging wasn't there. So when I say Miqan Effart, if I was in Germany and she was back in UK, You only have so many days leave. That effort would be that you would jump in your car. You'd drive from Germany to UK. And in your 2 weeks that you have leave, not only would you go and see your family, but you'd make a detour to ensure that you would go and see that friend even if it was just for a few hours. And the military are really good at that.
Jinty Morgan [00:23:37]:
An example which I think is is quite good. A few years ago, myself and my husband went on a touring holiday in Southern Ireland. Social media, this is where we are today because we're moving every every day to a new place. And, I I think it was the 3rd day a message came on Facebook from 1 of my husband's friends who he hadn't seen for, I'd probably say 12 years. You're just down the road from me. Do you fancy meeting up for dinner tonight? Haven't seen yet. So, obviously, the answer is going to be yes. We went for a meal and during that conversation, I said, so how how far were you? You know, so to me down the road, 20, 30 minutes?
James Glover [00:24:29]:
Yeah. Yeah.
Jinty Morgan [00:24:31]:
Over 2 hours. So he literally saw that we were in the his area as he called it.
James Glover [00:24:37]:
Yeah. Island.
Jinty Morgan [00:24:39]:
Yeah. Basically. And, drove over 2 hours to set, have a meal to drive 2 hours back to go to work the next day. And that's what military people do, but you had to do that regularly back in the late 90s early noughties because social media isn't or wasn't what it was. So you had to make that that effort. And there's nothing nicer than when somebody makes that effort towards you.
James Glover [00:25:13]:
Yeah. How does it make you feel? Light,
Jinty Morgan [00:25:16]:
as if you're floating. It's, it's just nice to be appreciated that somebody is willing to drive 2 hours just to be in your company. That they obviously that relationship feeds back and forward, that you both feel sort of the same.
James Glover [00:25:31]:
Yeah. And and you keep you keep using the the kind of the reference of the and it's like the language, the military. And, actually, I'm wondering if we just, I'm gonna try and kinda get you to dig a little bit deeper here in that. What is it about the military and the, the environment that it creates, but also the kind of the focus of the work that you do that creates this kind of bond that 12 years later, somebody's gonna travel halfway across the country just to be able to have dinner with you. What do you think is what do you think is it that generates that type of connection?
Jinty Morgan [00:26:06]:
I think we've got to go right back to that basic training. That from day 1, you were that individual. And when you left 12 weeks later, which is very fast in relationship and sort of comparison to when you sort of think of other elements of your life that it's got to be done quickly. It's it's it's just there's more common denominators. You know, you're helping somebody. You get the feel good factor when you do help somebody. There's a trust that it happens very quickly because you know, I'll be standing ironing that individual's kit. And, they've to trust me that I'm not going to I'll get some bravery points here and put a little crease in where it's not supposed to be.
Jinty Morgan [00:26:56]:
You know? So there's there's a trust factor straight away.
James Glover [00:27:00]:
Yeah.
Jinty Morgan [00:27:01]:
The uniform, it's just a special environment. And it's probably quite hard to explain really unless you've been in that. I think the comparison would be a team, a sports team.
James Glover [00:27:17]:
Right. You, you use some really, really expressive language, really expressive words when you, you know, just kind of said I asked you, how does it feel when somebody makes that kind of effort? And you said lighter, like, you know, kind of appreciated. Yeah. And, you know, there's just our core emotional need as human beings is to feel valued. I feel like you matter. And somebody doing that and investing in, investing effort in that way makes you feel seen and like you have worth and value. And, again, just kind of asking you to to explore what is it about that environment that fosters that. Really quickly, you talked about, the nature of needing others and being able to contribute to others.
James Glover [00:28:02]:
There's a reciprocation, which is, I can't do this on my own, but I can help. And, the impact of those 2 things, which is I feel a connection to you because I'm going to do something for you, but you're doing something for me. And inherently in that, I feel good and you feel good. Like, we're in service of something that is beyond our own self interest. Like, we're trying to move forward, but move forward together. It's not me moving forward ahead of you or you moving forward ahead of me. It's us moving forward together. And what that then fostered and created in terms of how you felt was trust.
James Glover [00:28:43]:
Right? Because trust isn't an instruction. You can't go, hey. You've gotta trust this person. Trust is a feeling. You have to feel it. I I feel like I can trust you. You are going to iron. I am going to shine in the same way that you can go into battle together.
James Glover [00:29:00]:
It's an extrapolation of the same experience. Right?
Jinty Morgan [00:29:03]:
Definitely. I think trust is so important in every aspect of our relationship.
James Glover [00:29:13]:
Yeah.
Jinty Morgan [00:29:13]:
With our it's professional, friendship, love. Yeah.
James Glover [00:29:17]:
Etcetera.
Jinty Morgan [00:29:20]:
It is a foundation block, I would say, in trust, but so easily lost.
James Glover [00:29:24]:
I'm wondering now, you know, you you, had this incredible conversation that, kind of opened your eyes to a different possibility. You and kind of took a leap of faith and went in a particular direction into the military. It cultivated a whole set of experiences that kind of shaped what really matters to you in terms of connection to other people and connection to an entire group of people and, allowed you to kind of make a contribution multiple levels. But then after 20 plus years, you stepped away from that. What what was that experience like? Because all of the stuff that you've just kind of described as being really significant and important and meaningful is then then shifts massively. Right?
Jinty Morgan [00:30:14]:
I think so I left the military in, October 2016 after 25 years of service. But my civilian pathway, I think, started back in 2009.
James Glover [00:30:31]:
Okay.
Jinty Morgan [00:30:32]:
Another random element. So, I done a tour in Iraq. And came off a 9 months tour in Iraq. Then went and I was posted in Germany. And, my unit was doing public duties in London. So I went into public duties in London, finished that the middle of February, and the unit I was with in Germany were preparing to go to Afghanistan and I wasn't going. You have people that go and then you've got personnel I've got to stay behind to look after the unit, the rear party as it's called. And, just prior to the unit deploying, I got a phone call asking if I would be the welfare senior NCO for when the unit deployed.
Jinty Morgan [00:31:29]:
And I was I was taken aback slightly that, I'd be selected to move into the welfare department. Me and my husband had a discussion, and I decided to take a gamble and go into the welfare department.
James Glover [00:31:45]:
When you say you were taken aback, what what were you taken aback by?
Jinty Morgan [00:31:49]:
That somebody thought I had, the necessary qualities to be in. Well, welfare, I think, etcetera. Probably, that sums it up nicely actually. I took the gamble. And, that is when I realized I loved the welfare environment. Being able to listen to somebody, give them slightly a little bit of advice, maybe my perspective of the situation. Especially because the people I was dealing with in that time, their partners, moms, dads etcetera, had deployed to Afghanistan. So they were left in Germany.
Jinty Morgan [00:32:34]:
Their potential immediate family, their moms and dads were more likely than not in UK. So I I did welfare for just about 14 months. And the feel good factor you get when you put your head in your pillow at night, you realize actually I helped somebody. And it didn't take a massive amount of effort. It was just listening. Making them, believe it or not, a cup of tea, etcetera. Organising entertainment for the children on a weekend because the weekends are long. There's no school trips, there's no work etcetera etcetera.
Jinty Morgan [00:33:17]:
And just giving them another instead of being in the house on their own, They had an excuse to leave the house to go and have a Sunday dinner and etcetera. And I absolutely loved it. So when it came to 2016 and me leaving the military, I knew I wanted to go into some sort of welfare environment. And thankfully, in February, the job with the charity that I still work with came up, I interviewed and I got the job. Technically, I was still in the military until October, But, my CEO, authorized early release in the June. And the charity were willing to wait until I got out to hold off until I could start. So everything aligned in in that respect. Transition from military to the civilian world practically, I don't think I had a major issue with anything.
Jinty Morgan [00:34:37]:
I had a job secured. My husband and I had already bought our house in Wales. That's where we decided to settle. And we'd had the, you know, the house coming on 4 years. It was emotional side of who I was, where I belonged, etcetera that I found difficult. And it was my husband that actually helped me through that because he just said, you're always jinty. The uniform, the military will never define you. You're ginty.
Jinty Morgan [00:35:18]:
Nothing's changed. And it was just his words that literally sort of went, actually, you're you're right. I don't need the the rank, the ID card, the uniform. That that isn't me.
James Glover [00:35:32]:
Yeah. And was there were there can you give us an example or, you know, examples of of of of what was of where there were moments where you really experienced that struggle more than others. Because I think it's it's really important and beautiful for for the people listening to be able to create that distinction in their head between the kind of the practical and the emotional. So at 1 level, everything was set. We've got a a place to live that was home, and I've got a job. And so, you know, from from that kind of perspective, moving from 1 to the other was was straight could be seen as fairly straightforward. But actually, that's not the bit that was really meaningful. The meaningful bit was your sense of self and your sense of identity and, where you felt you belonged.
James Glover [00:36:22]:
So can you give us a couple of examples of of maybe where there were moments where you're like, okay. This this feels I see now the distinction and the difference, and this feels rough. This feels raw that that I'm now no longer part of that.
Jinty Morgan [00:36:38]:
I think the the big 1 was, myself and my husband are big rugby supporters. And, Autumn International, we went down to watch Wales. And, we met up with a lot of friends in Wales and we're stood in a pub and we're all talking etcetera. And a convert the conversation turned to a policy change within the military. And I had no idea what they were talking about. Couldn't engage in this conversation. I was like and and this was the first time I'd experienced not being able to engage or have an opinion about this. And I felt myself and the only way to describe it is we're in a guru circle and I felt myself, Michael Jackson, out of the group.
Jinty Morgan [00:37:34]:
I'm thinking I'm being discreet. Out of the group because I've realized then my words were I don't belong because I couldn't engage and I couldn't contribute, etcetera. And I literally just stepped away Because I felt then, because I didn't wear the uniform. I didn't know what this policy change was about and why because I wasn't, you know, up in the change and in the policy because I'd be I went out of the military. That that was hard hitting. So I took myself away, had a 10 minute break, etcetera. And thankfully, when I came back, the conversation had changed. We were back to rugby and catching up, etcetera, etcetera.
Jinty Morgan [00:38:28]:
And that evening, we got the train back up the valleys up home. And I was sitting there silent, tears running down my face. And my husband said, what's wrong? And that's when I came out where I don't belong. The light came on on a valley's train after a rugby match.
James Glover [00:38:50]:
We yeah. We won't we won't cover off how many parts of Guinness may have, you know, kind of aided that that, that epiphanal moment. But the then if I kinda circle back around to the point you're making before about your your kinda husband being able to turn around and say, look. You are still ginty, and you'll always be ginty, and the uniform doesn't define that. How do you how did you take that and internalize it and make it real for yourself? Because it's all you know, how many of us get are are are going through some kind of emotive experience and somebody gives us advice, and it's really it could be the exact right piece of advice in that moment, but, actually, because of how you're feeling, you're like, sod off. I don't wanna hear that. I don't need that right now. Or, yes, that might be the right thing, but I don't feel like I can act on it in this moment.
James Glover [00:39:42]:
How did you how did you internalize it? How did you make that piece of advice real and true for you so you could feel a sense of, you know, comfort and ease and peace with where you were at?
Jinty Morgan [00:39:57]:
I think I've got to explain the relationship I've got with my husband so that you can understand when he says something I know is wholeheartedly truthful, honest, etcetera. So a few examples would be, I found the wedding dress that I wanted to wear. We agreed that he would have an opinion because his opinion to me is the be end and end all. And, we went to the shop and the lady who picked the the dress out and put it gave it to me in the changing room, I don't think realized, he was a groom. Don't think it should collect at this point. They started talking. I could hear them talking, having a conversation when I was in the children. Put the dress on, came out and I stood in this dress which I loved, absolutely loved.
Jinty Morgan [00:41:00]:
And this was the 1 for me, you know, and I'm assuming everybody that's wore a wedding dress will know that feeling when you've you've picked the right 1.
James Glover [00:41:08]:
Yeah. I totally know that feeling too. Yeah. I can relate completely. Yeah.
Jinty Morgan [00:41:13]:
I'm I'm glad you could relate. And he sat there and said, I love the dress. Absolutely perfect. But if you want to wear it, you have to lose weight. So you can imagine the shop shop assistant's face at this point.
James Glover [00:41:31]:
Wow.
Jinty Morgan [00:41:32]:
I went back into the change room, took the dress off, and turned around walked back out. And he said, so let's do it. So at the time, and I will emphasize at the time, my husband didn't have to lose weight. Very active rugby player, 1 up, etcetera. Yeah.
James Glover [00:41:51]:
Yeah. Double underlined in red.
Jinty Morgan [00:41:52]:
Yeah. And he said, so, let's join Weight Watchers together. I'll do it with you. And to cut a long story short, he was right. I looked much better after losing the weight and wearing that dress. So that's an example of Lloyd as 100% always truthful and honest. Even if, even if it might hurt your feelings, it might not be what you want or need to hear, but he is always truthful. So when he said on that train, you're not the uniform, you're not the ID card etcetera etcetera.
Jinty Morgan [00:42:41]:
It helped me as much as it helped me with you need to lose weight for the dress. I knew how truthful it was And if anybody else had said it to me, I'm not sure it would have cut home as quick as it did. That because it was him, I knew he was right and it was just saying that over and over again. Yeah, it's not in the uniform. You know. Your friendships you've made, it's not the uniform that has made those friendships last for that duration of time etcetera. My mum and dad being proud. It's not just because I wear a uniform, it's all the other things I've achieved.
Jinty Morgan [00:43:22]:
So yeah. So it was really it was him that got me through and realized that it was only because of the relationship that we have.
James Glover [00:43:32]:
Yeah. So I'm curious about 2 things. Did, Lloyd escape the shop without getting punched in the face by the assistant?
Jinty Morgan [00:43:40]:
She, the conversation went something to the effect of you can't see that, and Lloyd said, why not? It's the truth.
James Glover [00:43:49]:
Wow. And then the other the other bit that I'm really curious about is, you know, the the the the 2 elements here. 1 is Lloyd's kind of commitment to saying what he believes is is the truth and the trust that you have then been able to build in that. Because, actually, you used the same word twice there, which was when he said it at the time about the dress, it hurt. And when he said it about not being the uniform, it hurt. So for you, there was a what most people would hear and go, ah, that's a that's a painful experience. Like, how how how are you referencing that in a kind of a positive a positive way? And so I'm really intrigued. I'm really curious about the the kind of the nature of the trust that you have between you knowing that, actually, the pain is something to pay attention to that actually doesn't necessarily mean a kind of a negative at all? It's actually something that can be the exact opposite?
Jinty Morgan [00:44:52]:
I I think it that's obviously the painting, what is said, how it's said, and who said it, is very much how you can take it and how you can react. If I'd taken a female friend and they'd said that to me, I'd have stormed out. That was a, they're not coming to the wedding blah blah blah blah blah.
James Glover [00:45:17]:
You ruined
Jinty Morgan [00:45:18]:
it. You know? But I think it's just when I say my best friend I probably should say my female best friend because Lloyd is actually my my best friend. He's my soul mate. We do everything as much as we can, together. He's he's all the mortar that keeps me together. He keeps me in line. He plays devil's advocate with me with every decision we make, and I do the same to him.
James Glover [00:45:51]:
Yeah. Yeah.
Jinty Morgan [00:45:51]:
You say and I I sort of look and when I talk about us as a couple, I realize how lucky they are because a lot of people don't don't have it or have never experienced that, etcetera, etcetera. So, yeah, it's, he's like the other half of me, basically. And I know it's a cliche, you know, they booger, but, no. We are soul mate. We're best friends and yeah. He's pushed me to things that I wouldn't probably normally do. And sometimes that's not even with conversation. That can just be a look.
James Glover [00:46:34]:
But what I what I really hear and, and, kind of taking to heart here is the the the kind of the the authenticity and the experiences that you guys have for each other. Like, you know, keeps me honest in the line, and I do the same for him. Yeah. And, you know, what what experiences must have shaped and formed that over time and that continue to shape it and form over time. Because to go through a transition where you feel like your sense of identity well, that's actually not who you are. You're far more than that. Well, that's actually not who you are. You're far more than that, is a gift.
James Glover [00:47:21]:
It's a real gift.
Jinty Morgan [00:47:22]:
Yeah. I think so. I think, yeah, I'm lucky. And so is he and so is he.
James Glover [00:47:29]:
Yeah. Of course. Yeah. And, and, yeah, and when he when he realizes he needs to hit Weight Watchers, then you'll be there for him straight straight away. Yes. So final final question for for me, Jinty. Like, if there is you know, you have transitioned into a role where this kind of the significance around welfare is still central in your life. You know, how you support other people, and it's been it's really, interesting for me to kind of hear almost the the kind of the circular nature of all of this because the things that you described the military bringing for you are the exact things that you are cultivating for the people in this kind of welfare, welfare role and position.
James Glover [00:48:12]:
When you think about where you're at right now and you look back over that kind of journey and those kind of key transitions, what are the kind of things that you would go back and kinda say to yourself now if if it was you on the train rather than Lloyd on the train or if it was you in that kind of the conversation, instead of the the the teacher in that moment? What what are the kind of the pieces and the words of advice that you would have for your younger self?
Jinty Morgan [00:48:39]:
Oh, that's a hard question. I've never really thought about it, to be perfectly honest. I I don't know if I would change anything. I think I would like to be able to have the ability that those individuals had to change my paths, my mindset, etcetera. I think I would like to be able to say that I would have that ability to be able to do that for somebody else.
James Glover [00:49:14]:
Yep.
Jinty Morgan [00:49:16]:
Because at the time when I had those conversations with those individuals, They said it and it hit home and it was correct, but that was for me. It doesn't mean that if I repeated those words to somebody else, that it would have the same impact.
James Glover [00:49:39]:
Yeah.
Jinty Morgan [00:49:40]:
So I think I have learned in my 49 years on this planet through various people that if you listen, you can usually see the right thing to the individual in the right way. Because you've picked up on the way that they will react to certain things. That that's that's how I see sort of what I've learned, etcetera, if that makes any sense whatsoever.
James Glover [00:50:20]:
Well, no. It makes total sense because when you talked about, I moved into welfare, and, actually, it was really easy because all you had to do is listen. I remember in that moment thinking, yeah, listening is not so easy for most people. Actually, it's what feels like listening is actually just pausing, waiting for your turn to speak. And so you describing the importance of actually being able to really pay attention and be present to hear somebody else so that you then know what to say, how to say it, so that it creates impact. Feels, you know, really powerful and and a really magical insight. And, actually, the perfect place for us to probably draw our our conversation to to a close. And I just want to to kind of finish by saying thank you and, massively love the random elements and the way you describe the the random elements that have kind of shaped your experiences today and where and how you find the kind of sense of meaning and connection in in in what has been a really, incredible kind of career and, and significant moments of transition.
James Glover [00:51:34]:
Because for all of us to feel like, actually, there doesn't have to be a plan, but to pay attention to the random elements can make magic happen. I think is a really inspiring message. So thank you for taking the time to to share with us on the excitable soul today.
Jinty Morgan [00:51:50]:
Thank you, James, and thank you for listening.
James Glover [00:51:52]:
You're welcome. Massive thank you for taking the time to listen to the excitable soul podcast. If you are interested in uncovering, understanding, and unleashing your sense of purpose, come and explore our purpose immersion programs at the excitablesoldot com. We look forward to hearing from you there or being with you on our next episode. Have an incredible day.