Issue 12: Growing purpose

Why supporting young people starts with curiosity

We’re often asked: “Can a child really have a purpose?”

It’s a good question — but maybe it’s the wrong one.

At The Excitable Soul, we work from William Damon’s definition of purpose: a stable and generalised intention to accomplish something meaningful to the self and consequential to the world beyond the self.

It’s a beautiful and rigorous description — but it’s also important to remember that Damon’s research focuses primarily on adolescence, the stage when young people first begin to construct a personal narrative and ask, “Who am I, and how do I matter?”

For adults, purpose work involves uncovering the meaning markers that are etched into stories we already live by — recognising the patterns of pride, contribution, and connection, for example, that have always been there.

But for young people, those patterns are still taking shape. They are gathering experiences, experimenting with identities, and learning to assign meaning for themselves.

Narrative identity theory reminds us that during childhood and adolescence, meaning-making is still in motion. Young people are developing abstract thought, exploring different worldviews, and searching for what feels significant. They aren’t meant to have a fully formed purpose yet — they’re still collecting the raw material from which one will grow.

That’s why supporting purpose in young people isn’t about helping them find a single calling — it’s about nurturing their capacity for curiosity. Helping them notice what feels alive, where they feel connection and what moments make them want to give something back.

Damon’s research found that young people with a developing sense of purpose often describe it in terms of contribution — the feeling that their actions can positively affect others. But that sense of contribution doesn’t arrive fully formed; it grows through trying, failing, exploring, and paying attention to what resonates.

So, rather than coaching young people for purpose, we coach from possibility. We help them build awareness that:

• Meaning isn’t discovered — it’s assigned.

• Curiosity is the foundation of wisdom.

• Contribution begins not with certainty, but with participation.

And for those of us who guide them — as parents, teachers, coaches, or mentors — our role isn’t to define their path, but to create the conditions for discovery. To offer safety, language, and trust so they can explore their own stories with openness and courage.

Because when young people understand that meaning is made, not given, the world remains wide enough for discovery, for mistakes, and for difference.

They don’t need a life plan — only the courage to pay attention: to what they feel, what they question, and how they can give something of themselves to others.

From that awareness grows a quiet confidence — the kind that makes self-discovery a lifelong companion, not a finish line.